(Luis Cane’s pimp-slap, straight left combo. No one ever expects it. Props, UG.)
- Apparently the hip new trend for youngsters on the internet is to film themselves making UFC predictions and then throw it up on YouTube. Fightlinker spotted the very enthusiastic WishKid12 doing her thing, and decided to see how her picks matched up against those made by professionals like us. We’re proud to report that both Bens (weirdly, we made the exact same picks) soundly defeated this precocious prognosticator. While she went 2-3 on the night, we went 4-1 (curse you Cane, and your bitch-slapping awesomeness). The only one in this impromptu contest to beat us was Fightlinker, with a perfect 5-0. So basically we’re smarter than a twelve-year-old girl but dumber than drunk Canadians. That’s still better than either of our families ever expected.
- Patrick Cote tells MMA Mania that the UFC did not have him sign a contract extension prior to his title fight against Anderson Silva at UFC 90 this Saturday night. That’s notable since he’s at or near the end of his current contract, and typically the UFC makes sure they have a guy locked up before they take a chance on him becoming a belt-holder. At least, that’s what they do when they think the challenger has a chance in hell of winning.
- In case you were wondering, Dana White says he will reward Josh Koscheck with a shot at the welterweight title if he beats Thiago Alves this weekend. We all know how much White loves guys who are willing to step in on short notice, and Koscheck has a chance to turn Diego Sanchez’s misfortune into a big break for himself. Not that anyone’s really clamoring for GSP-Koscheck II at this point.
- MMA Payout takes issue with the UFC’s insinuation that Brandon Vera voluntarily sat out a year and then returned a different fighter. They point out that Vera was an early victim of the “Zuffa Freeze Out” and that by running around comparing the old Vera to the new one, Dana White may be unwittingly calling the wrong kind of attention to his own negotiation practices. Damn revisionist history.
On Friday, we put two Nate Diaz-related t-shirts up for grabs to the readers who could provide the best captions for the above photo involving Randy Couture, Gina Carano, and three of their groupies. And apparently you really want to represent tha’ 209, because you came full force with it. First, our honorable mentions…
Matt Herpes: This is exactly why Kim bought that testicle-scale.
F.A.S.: Xtreme Ho-ture
Damien: Looks like Fedor isn’t the only heavyweight that Randy wants to get his hands on.
boobah: Gina later realized that Applebee’s was not the best choice for cutting weight.
MMA-hole: “Yeah, that’s right…I’m Bruce Willis…â€
TheFeniX: Shown here: People who make a living destroying others for monetary gain, every 6 months or so. Also pictured: Randy Couture and Gina Carano.
bmwtech: Just goes to show you that every group of girls has a DBUF. Designated bald ugly friend.
You know how this works: The cream of this week’s commenting crop is below; vote for your favorite on the homepage poll. The most popular comment gets a sweet tee of their choice from my favorite torso-covering company, Triumph United. You said:
Congratulations, buddy: You’re about to be one shirt-wearin’ motherfucker. By a wide, wide margin, Vrax turned in the most popular comment in our second Triumph United Comment Contest, suggesting that involvement in YAMMA Pit Fighting is more shameful than kiddie-diddling. So Vrax, please swing through Triumph United’s shirt rack, and e-mail us at feedback@cagepotato.com to let us know which one you want; we’ll hook you up ASAP.
Also important: Your homework this weekend is to make one last attempt at coming up with creatively humiliating punishments for Ryan Harkness of Fightlinker when he goes down in flames in our upcoming UFC 84 pick-off. Go here and do your worst!
Since all you guys did was bitch about it last time, we’re going to leave the decisions in your hands from now on. Below were our favorite comments from this week. Take a moment to digest them and then vote for your favorite in our new homepage poll on the right. The winner gets a Triumph United t-shirt of their choice. Okay? And the nominees are…
“The first time I ever saw Kimbo I was surfing for porn and I saw his various appearances @ inthevip.com. If you told me that a couple years later that dude would be on the cover of ESPN, I’d call you crazy. Actually I’d say I didn’t know who he was and deny the fact I was looking at porn.” — Jeff on Kimbo’s ESPN Cover Shoot
“When discussing Mark Hunt, it’s customary to precede his name with ‘noted fatty fatty fat fat’ so that people remember which out-of-shape guy you’re talking about.” — Jemaleddin on Quote Stew: Bisping, Quarry, Hunt + More
“I think Chris Leben is showing a lot of growth here as a human being….and I also think he will make a fine prison prostitute….that guy is going to earn somone a lot of soups and cigarettes.” — BIG CHRIS on Chris Leben in Jail, But Only on a Technicality
“The Mad Monkey, is this the one that had pinpoint bleeding all over his freshly waxed unibrow in the serra/gsp pre-fight family interviews? You want to get that done 24 hrs in advance buddy (not that I would know anything about it).” — tony@rbd on Nick Serra, The Mad Monkey
“these arent rankings. these a fans thoughts on who they think is good. iv never seen so much crappy rankings by a nuthugging blog before. garbage.” — clitwizard on ‘Power Rankings’ Update of DOOM!
(“Death Squad”: One of the designs available at Triumph United.)
Between Chuck Liddell’s leg injury and “Starnesgate,” it was a great week to kick off our Triumph United Comment Contest. Our most sincere thanks to everyone who makes this site a two-way exchange of information by posting opinions, tips, and punchlines in the comments section. But which comment was the most shirt-worthy this week? First, let’s give props to those who fell just short of the glory…
1st Runner-Up
I don’t have health insurance at my place of employment so to show my boss up and to make a point I punched myself in the cock really hard, cried like a girl, then put the video on youtube. Take that you wanker!!! Go Starnes!! — KTFO on What’s to Become of Kalib Starnes?
(The Kimbo Slice LTD tee — only available at Triumph United.)
Heads up, people:
— We’ll be liveblogging UFC 83 tomorrow night starting at 10 p.m. ET, so come back for thrilling round-by-round updates and semi-coherent commentary. And please share your own thoughts during the broadcast via the comments section, especially because…
— We’ve teamed up with Triumph United to launch our Comment of the Week contest. We’re not going to lie; some of your comments have been making us LOFL lately, and we want to start rewarding you for your creativity. Thus, every Friday starting next week we’ll call out our favorite comments from the previous week and award one winner a Triumph United shirt of his/her choosing. If you’re tired of MMA-inspired shirts that induce headaches and seizures, you should definitely check out some of T.U.’s more reserved, aesthetically-pleasing designs. I’ve paid actual money for two of their shirts in the past, which I think demonstrates my genuine love for this brand. So keep hitting us with your witty/insightful comments and good luck. Lurkers, emerge from the shadows!
— Do us a favor and check out this interactive trailer for The Forbidden Kingdom. Then do Jackie Chan and Jet Li a favor and see the movie.
Congratulations Gavin Haughey — you’ve just won $500 in cash and $500 in Serious Pimp gear for creating the highest-voted t-shirt in our Serious Pimp design contest. Gavin’s design, known as “Good Evening Bitches” (above), edged out Ray Thorsky’s “Manuscript” piece by just 16 votes. We’ll keep you updated on how the dude spends his money. Our suggestion? Convert that shit into singles and make it rain!
Unrelated: There’s a new poll on the homepage — take it.
If you haven’t thrown in a vote for our Serious Pimp t-shirt design contest yet, please go here to give the finalists a look and then make your pick on the homepage poll; you might just make one CagePotato reader five hundred bucks happier. Voting ends at the stroke of midnight ET, so hurry your ho-ass up and get to it. Much respect to everyone who entered — the winner will be announced tomorrow.
Oh yeah! To those of you who wrote in asking “What the crap happened to that Serious Pimp t-shirt design contest?”, well, perfection takes longer. But the wait is over, and Serious Pimp has chosen four finalists out of all your lovely entries. Check ‘em out below and vote for your favorite one on our homepage poll. The poll will close next Thursday, March 13th at 11:59:59 p.m. ET, and we’ll announce the winner the next day. The design with the most votes scores the designer $500 in cash and $500 in Serious Pimp gear. Fist-bumps and bro-grabs to everyone who entered — y’all some talented mah’fuckas.
