(You ready for this? Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)
We are live at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas for an extra-special, on-the-scene liveblog of UFC 91. What does that mean for your life? It means preliminary results, witty observations about crowd members, and constant updates as to what Arianny Celeste is up to throughout the night. At the same time, I don’t want to miss out on all your hilarious quips about the live broadcast, including but not limited to the banter between Joe Rogan and the century man, Mike Goldberg, so please fill me in with your comments.
Liveblog begins after the jump. Hit refresh often. If you don’t want the prelims spoiled for you…too bad. Just suck it up and deal.
Matt Brown vs. Ryan Thomas
Round 1
The arena is barely more than half-full as the preliminaries begin. Matt Brown and Ryan Thomas both look a tad bit nervous anyway. Brown comes right across the cage and fires off some punches, but Thoms changes levels and looks for a takedown. They clinch and Brown executes a nice hip throw, but Thomas stays with him and reverses the position on the mat. He seems to be controlling Brown well and landing some decent punches.
Brown gets back to his feet, only to get taken back down. Brown grabs an arm and may have it locked in. Thomas rolls with it and fights his way out. Brown sweeps him, ends up in Thomas’ guard, but can’t do much damage. With under thirty seconds left in the round, Brown locks up a tight guillotine, but the wily Thomas slips out. Looks like 10-9 Thomas to me. Arianny is stretching.
Round 2
Thomas looks for a takedown right away and eventually gets it. Both men are starting to look a little fatigued. Brown locks up an armbar from the bottom. Thomas tries to slam his way out, but no dice. It’s Tapuary first, and rent’s due. A gritty performance by Brown results in a victory. Arianny appears to be texting. Naturally, her cell phone is pink.
Matt Brown def. Ryan Thomas via submission (armbar) at 0:57 of round two.
Alvin Robinson vs. Mark Bocek
Round 1
I just realized, after Bruce Buffer said it, that Robinson’s nickname is “Kid.” I think that’s awesome, in an old-timey kind of way. Bocek gets a takedown almost immediately and goes to work from Robinson’s guard. It’s not exactly an overwhelming work rate, but he’s staying busy enough. Bocek passes, gets to half-guard and does a little more damage with elbows, then gets to side control. Bocek moves to north-south and works for a d’arce choke in the last ten seconds. It looks tight, but Robinson toughs it out until the end of the round. 10-9 Bocek.
Round 2
Robinson lands a good straight right and gets Bocek moving backwards, but the Canadian pulls a sweet wizzer for a takedown. He looks for a guillotine, then flips Robinson over, then gets put on his back again. This continues a few more times. They’re all over the place now, a frenetic pace on the mat. Bocek is in control, taking Robinson’s back, working a little ground-and-pound, but can’t find a finish. He looks for an omaplata at the end of the round but Robinson is out. Great back and forth, but it’s definitely Bocek’s round, 10-9.
Round 3
Robinson looks for a standing guillotine to start the final frame, but Bocek slams his way out of it and then moves to side control. Now Bocek mounts Robinson. He’s controlling the fight, but his ground-and-pound isn’t as effective as it could be. No sooner do I type that, then he starts to open up and land some punches from the top. Robinson doesn’t care for this. He rolls and gives up his back. Bocek digs for a rear naked choke and gets it. Tappy, tappy, tappy.
Mark Bocek def. Alvin Robinson via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:16 of round three.
A guy somewhere behind me seems to know exactly what Robinson should have done to get out of that. Don’t worry, he’s letting the whole arena know about it. And here I was worried he might keep that knowledge to himself.
Rafael Dos Anjos vs. Jeremy Stephens
Round 1
And we have our first ‘Kick his ass, Sea Bass’ shout of the night. I can’t believe it took this long. Dos Anjos and Stephens are both tentative to start. They clinch against the cage, Dos Anjos looks for a single-leg, can’t get it, but gets around behind Stephens and gets him down with a suplex-type attempt. Dos Anjos is controlling Stephens on the mat, and fights his way through a guillotine attempt to get side control. His corner is screaming ‘Porrada!’ constantly. From what Brazilians tell me, that’s basically an exhortation to kick ass. Not necessarly the most helpful advice, but it’s a morale-builder.
Dos Anjos looks for a omaplata as the round nears its end, but Stephens suffers through it. 10-9 Dos Anjos. Arianny is playing with her hair and sitting next to Mario Yamasaki.
Round 2
We get a little stand-up action to start the round. Stephens is throwing big, looping rights, but Dos Anjos is defending well. He times one of Stephens’ punches perfectly and shoots for a double-leg. He scoops Stephens up high and slams him so that the whole arena feels it. Dos Anjos gets Stephens’ back and is porrada-ing the shit out of him right now. He transitions to an armbar, but Stephens sees it coming and escapes, giving him the opportunity to work some ground-and-pound of Dos Anjos’ guard. A few decent punches get through before the bell, and it might be enough to steal the round for Stephens. I gotta call it 10-9 for Dos Anjos, though.
Round 3
Some tentative jabbing and a few traded leg kicks start the final frame. Stephens backs Dos Anjos up to against the fence and then winds up and unloads with a huge right uppercut that knocks Dos Anjos on his ass. Stephens adds a few more unnecessary punches before the ref stops it.
A huge knockout for a comeback victory. Stephens flings himself at the Octagon fence in celebration. The crowd just woke up. Dos Anjos is starting to come around, too, albeit slowly.
Jeremy Stephens def. Rafael Dos Anjos via KO (uppercut/porrada!) at 0:39 of round three.
Jorge Gurgel vs. Aaron Riley
An especially sweet Buffer turn during the introduction of Riley. Bruce is feeling it tonight.
Round 1
After trading a few punches, Riley straight-up punts Gurgel’s testicles. The impact sounds like someone hitting an orange with a fungo bat. Gurgel doesn’t use much of his allotted time to recover, which always irks me for some reason, but he looks fine as he comes right back and delivers some punishing body kicks. They are going toe-to-toe with everything they’ve got now: punches, body kicks, head kicks, you name it. Gurgel is getting the better of it as the round winds down, but it’s a war that has both men looking battered. 10-9, Gurgel.
Round 2
We now resume our regularly scheduled brawling. Riley is starting to come on. He throws a head kick that Gurgel blocks but still seems to take some damage from. Later in the round Riley lands a good left that momentarily stuns Gurgel, but can’t capitalize. Jorge Gurgel is in a very exciting, fast-paced fight. I almost can’t believe what I’m seeing. Riley continues to be the aggressor and even tosses Gurgel to the mat once. It’s enough to win the round for him. 10-9, Riley. All square heading into the final round.
Round 3
Riley lands a left head kick that has Gurgel reeling. He follows it up with big left hands in close, working his dirty boxing in the clinch. Gurgel is looking wobbly, but he weathers the storm. The left hand continues to land cleanly for Riley. Gurgel slips on a leg kick and Riley helps him the rest of the way down with a kick of his own, but it isn’t long before Gurgel is back on his feet again. As the round winds down, Gurgel keeps shooting for takedowns, probably because he sees a decision slipping away. One such shot ends up with Riley briefing mounting Gurgel.
What a fight. I didn’t think Gurgel had it in him. In a fair world, it could easily be Fight of the Night, though Gurgel’s likely to lose the decision.
And so it goes. All three judges give it to Riley. Well-earned.
Aaron Riley def. Jorge Gurgel via unanimous decision.
After a brief coffee break, we’re ready to go live on pay-per-view. The house is pretty packed now. As soon as they see Lesnar’s big, square mug on the big screen, the fans voice their disapproval big time. These people love them some Couture. Lesnar says he isn’t just here to do his best. Is he saying my Little League was wrong?
Despite the excitement, Arianny is slouched in her chair, eyes closed, getting a scalp massage from the woman who appears to be the official UFC ring girl handler. Good work if you can get it.
Demian Maia vs. Nate Quarry
+10 points for Maia for coming out to the “Encore/Numb” mash-up. 50 Cent is in the house. This appears to please Arianny.
Round 1
Maia is making little secret of the fact that he would like this fight to be a grappling affair. A few perfunctory punches and then down we go. He’s all over Quarry and it isn’t long before he has The Rock’s back. Maia has a body triangle, is peppering Quarry with punches and hammer fists from behind. Maia slips his arm in for a rear naked choke and Quarry can’t tap fast enough. Damn, is Maia that good, or is Quarry that rusty? Maybe a little of both, but I tend to think it’s more the former than the latter. Take note, UFC middleweights.
Demian Maia def. Nate Quarry via submisision (rear naked choke) at 2:13 of round 1
Showing Brock Lesnar on the big screen is as guaranteed to elicit boos from this audience as showing Randy Couture is to garner cheers. If only we could find a way to harness all this energy.
Josh Hendricks vs. Gabriel Gonzaga.
Show me a person who doesn’t get pumped when they hear Danzig’s “Mother,” and I’ll show you a person I don’t want to party with. Gabriel Gonzaga is not such a person. It seems that Hendricks is sponsored by both Guns America and Jesus Didn’t Tap. What a combination. I feel a “U.S.A.!” chant coming on.
Round 1
Gonzaga is manhandling Hendricks early on, shoving him around, landing some hard shots. These punches have some stank on them. A hard right finds Hendricks’ chin and he crumples. Gonzaga adds a couple more for good measure while Steve Mazzagatti looks on approvingly. Welcome to the UFC, Mr. Hendricks. Enjoy your nap.
Gabriel Gonzaga def. Josh Hendricks via KO (punches) at 1:01 of round one.
Tamdan McCrory vs. Dustin Hazelett
Hazelett is sporting a Unabomber beard as he comes out to “Bad Moon Rising.” Interesting choices.
Round 1
The Barn Cat swarms all over Hazelett with a torrent of punches, but Hazelett covers up and looks mostly unfazed. McCrory slips and Hazelett tries to capitalize with a flying knee-type thing. When it doesn’t work he gives an ‘aw, shucks’ smile that is downright endearing. McCrory’s leg and body kicks are his most effective weapons thus far. In a scramble Hazelett locks on an omaplata, but McCrory is defending well. Hazelett turns it into more of a straight arm lock and McCrory has to tap. Impressive, technical performance from Hazelett. The replay confirms that McCrory’s arm is going to be sooooooore.
Dustin Hazelett def. Tamdan McCrory via submission (arm lock) at 3:59 of round one.
When Anderson Silva is shown on the big screen, the crowd lets him know that they still love him, no matter what anyone says.
Kenny Florian vs. Joe Stevenson
Florian and Stevenson come out to Jay-Z and 50 Cent, respectively. Arianny is digging it. She’s up out of her chair and dancing for the first time all night. Go on, girl. Florian takes the center of the Octagon and bows. His banner reveals that he’s sponsored by Versa Climber. How bout that.
IMPORTANT: If you’re enjoying this liveblog — hell, even if you’re not — please, please, please Digg it. Seriously, do us this one favor.
Round 1
Florian is the more active fighter at the start, outdancing Stevenson and slipping in a few decent punches. Stevenson clinches and looks to get the action to the mat. He picks Florian up and KenFlo briefly grabs the cage before going down, which earns him a stern rebuke from referee Herb Dean. Bakc on their feet, Florian tries a high kick to Stevenson’s dome, then slams him to the mat a few second later. Florian mounts and drops some punches. Stevenson gives his back, and the choke follows soon thereafter. Over here on press row, Franklin McNeil doesn’t hide his pleasure at seeing his MMA Live co-host get the win.
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Couture
Lesnar comes out to some black album-era Metallica. It’s probably the closest I’ll ever come to being won over by him. Couture is coming out to Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle.” Predictable? Maybe. Totally fucking sweet? Definitely. They’re chanting Randy’s name in the MGM Grand. And he is loving it.
Buffer is selling this shit hard. He must be watching old videos of the Pride lady. His enthusiasm is almost frightening. I want him drug-tested.
Round 1
It is immediately apparent when they square off just how much bigger Lesnar is. Lesnar controls him in the clinch at first, but Couture gets some space and fires off a good right. Lesnar tries for a takedown, but settles for another clinch. Single-leg by Lesnar put Couture on his back. Couture works his way back up bit by bit and almost takes Lesnar’s back before getting slung back to the mat. Lesnar’s strength is thus far making up for his lack of polish. A couple punches from Lesnar get through, but Couture is back to his feet, pressing Lesnar against the cage. Couture picks the big man up for a quick moment, but it doesn’t go anywhere. The round ends just as they separate. Looks like a 10-9 for Lesnar from where I’m sitting.
Round 2
They exchange punches and Lesnar lands a good right. Couture plays it up and Lesnar charges in, but it seems like a savvy veteran trick more than anything else. They stand and bang in the middle of the cage, with Couture getting the better of it. Lesnar is cut around his right eye. A right hand behind the ear from Lesnar drops Couture. The big man pounces and lands about thirty hammer fists in his patented ‘angry four-year-old’ punching style. Couture may be out. The ref is giving him lots of leeway. He attempts to roll off his back, but Lesnar is overwhelming him. Yamasaki stops it. And we have a new UFC heavyweight champ.
Lesnar hops atop the cage and surveys his kingdom. The crowd does not appreciate it.
Brock Lesnar def. Randy Couture via TKO (punches) at 3:07 of round two.
He gives Couture props for coming in after a year off and facing “a young buck like me.” Even when he’s giving someone else credit he manages to sound a little dickish. Dana White and Lorenzo Fertitta chat with Lesnar during Couture’s post-fight interview. They seem…pleased.
That’s it for me, Potato Nation. I’m off to the press conference. Hope you enjoyed the evening as much as I did. If you haven’t dug our liveblog yet, do it now before I get pissed.
It’s time, baby. Jon Fitch attempts to steal Georges St. Pierre’s welterweight belt, Kenny Florian and Roger Huerta throw down in a lightweight #1 contender “definitely in the mix” match, and Brock Lesnar smash face. Hit that “more” link and refresh the page every few minutes to read all the latest from the Target Center in Minneapolis, MN. Low prices every day — caged death tonight.
The Minneapolis crowd…noticeably less good-looking than the Las Vegas crowd. But no matter, we’re live and ready to rock. GSP has a 80% success rate in takedowns, 83% success rate in takedown defense, and has only spent 4:51 on his back in his UFC career. As for Jon Fitch, no opponent has ever passed his guard, and he sports a 70% takedown defense rate. How ’bout those stats! Joe Rogan has like a four-day beard-growth going on. Come on bro, you’re better than that.
Jason MacDonald vs. Demian Maia
Wanderlei Silva in the house, coming out with Maia. Clay Guida, as always, is sitting right near the cage entrance. How does he get those awesome seats?
Round 1: Maia with an inside leg kick. MacDonald charges forward and clinches, and Maia responds by pulling guard. Maia trying to set up a triangle, and locks it the hell in. MacDonalad hangs in like a soldier, while Maia drops elbows into his head. But MacDonald slips put, then takes Maia’s back and almost sinks in a rear-naked choke! Maia escapes, and Mac gets back into Maia’s guard. MacDonald gets up and Maia grabs for his legs. MacDonald stands again then drops back in and wraps his arm around Maia’s neck. MacDonald rolls and that choke is sunk in deep. But Maia escapes and takes MacDonald’s back with a rear-naked choke! MacDonald slips out and the bell rings. Crazy first round…maybe dead even with both guys nearly finishing the other.
Round 2: Maia sticks MacDonalad with a hard left hook, and MacDonald shoots in on him with a wobbly clinch. Dirty boxing from Maia, then a takedown. Maia passes into full mount and drops an elbow. Maia starts landing big punches and elbows from the top. MacDonald tries to buck up, to no avail. More sharp elbows from Maia, then a series of punches to the sides of MacDonald’s head. MacDonald is bloodied. Maia sets up a triangle, but MacDonald escapes it and rolls on top of Maia. But the bell rings before he can make anything happen. Clear 10-9 round for Maia.
Round 3: Maia lands a left then takes MacDonald down. MacDonald briefly attempts a guillotine then rolls on top of Maia. Maia rolls for some freakin’ reason and MacDonald almost gets a choke in. Maia escapes and gets on top of MacDonald, throwing more ‘bows. MacDonald rolls to his stomach and takes a few punches from Maia. Maia gets his arm under MacDonald’s neck…finally MacDonald succumbs to the choke and taps. “Motherfucker,” he says when Maia tries to embrace him. Demian Maia def. Jason MacDonald via rear-naked choke, 2:44 of round 3.
Kenny Florian vs. Roger Huerta? Already?!
Roger Hurta has whined his way into a lead-in slot to Manny Gamburyan. Brutal. Huerta sings along to his theme song, which kicks so much ass, while Stitch lubes up his face. Dan Miragliotta’s reffing this one? Oh no, that’s like a double fuck you! Florian bows his head in a rather lengthy prayer before entering the cage. Probably that one about God teaching your fingers to war, or some bullshit. Buffer puts a lot of salsa on his pronunciation of “HUERTAAAAHH!!!”
Round 1: Leg kick from Huerta, and Florian returns fire. Huerta with another. Kenny with a body kick. Huerta punches as Florian shoots in with a knee. Two more leg kicks from Huerta, but Kenny catches the last one and takes Huerta down. Florian quickly gets the mount and socks Huerta one. Huerta rolls and Kenny’s on his back. Huerta escapes and gets to his feet! The crowd chants Huerta. Kenny misses a superman punch and head kick. Huerta lands a counterpunch and goes after Kenny, pushing him against the cage. Dirty boxing and a knee from Huerta. Kenny backpedals until he’s out of the clinch. Kenny tries to lock on a thai clinch but is pushed off. Some sparring from both guys. Roger chasing Kenny and the horn sounds. Close round…Roger may have pushed the action a bit more.
Round 2: Kenny with a body kick, then a head kick to Roger’s glove. Sharp body kick from Huerta. Roger falls to his knees clinching with Florian against the cage, but Florian doesn’t take advantage and escapes the clinch. Florian going for the single leg and Roger wraps up his arm and lands an elbow from the top. Florian bulls Huerta down, then takes his back, throwing punches. Huerta slips out and they’re standing again. Leg kick from Florian. Leg sweep from Florian, and Huerta briefly hits the mat. Another leg kick from Kenny. Roger misses a superman punch. Huerta clinches and pushes Florian against the cage. Florian lands an elbow and uppercut. Out of the clinch, he lands a right hook, then a couple more punches and a kick. The horn sounds. Clear 10-9 round for Florian.
Round 3: Front kick lands to Huerta’s chin. Florian takes Roger down but he pops up and takes a knee. Florian lands a big punch and takes Huerta down again. Florian threatens the kneebar briefly, then rolls into Huerta’s full guard. Huerta’s with some elbows from the bottom. Kenny gets to his feet, and Roger follows. Good punch combo from Huerta. Knee to the body from Florian, then a big left hook. Another front kick to Huerta’s face! Then Florian lands a jab and dodges Huerta’s punches. Florian looks to be riding out the round, and the crowd boos. Roger lands some punches, then takes a knee to the body. Roger lands a leg kick. Florian lands a body dhot that seems to hurt Huerta. He throws a punch combo then takes Huerta down. But Roger gets up and they exchange punches as the round ends. It’s looking like a decision win for Florian. Y’know, as predicted. All three judges score it 30-27 for Kenny Florian. Well, I guess he doesn’t always finish fights. Big boos from the crowd as Kenny tells Joe how much he respects Kenny. He plugs his new school, Florian Martial Arts Center. Roger looks pretty freakin’ bummed. Now what were you saying about points on the pay per view?
Manvel Gamburyan vs. Rob Emerson
I sort of can’t believe this is a PPV main card fight. Whatever. Emerson comes out to M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes,” which meatheads know about thanks to the trailer for Pineapple Express. SOUTH COUNTY WHAT.
Round 1: Manny comes out swingin’ like a maniac and gets punched to the ground, then gets punched OUT on the ground. Fuck. 12 seconds, people. Emerson def. Gamburyan via KO. Son of a bitch will probably get a $60,000 bonus for that.
Cheick Kongo vs. Dan Evensen (from the undercard)
Dan Evenson desribes himself as a “wiking,” which I think is like an ewok. Wikings, as it happens, have terrible taste in entrance music. Joe Rogan: “The UFC is actually way cooler than the Olympics.” Goldberg: “Good point by you.”
Round 1: Kongo works the leg kicks. Evensen rushes in but Kongo pushes him against the cage, then slams him to the ground. Kongo grabs Evensen’s foot, drags him forward a bit then lays a ton of kicks into Evensen’s legs from the top. The ref stands them up after a brief pause in the action. They clinch against the cage again and Evensen goes for a guillotine but Kongo slips out. Evensen goes for it again and Kongo pops out. Kongo throws a knee into Evensen’s thigh, then takes him down again. Kongo throws some strikes from half guard. Kongo gets to his feet and the ref lets Evensen up. Kongo lands a body kick, then lands a huge right which sends Evensen to the mat, and wildman-punches Evensen until the fight is stopped…with only five seconds left in the round. Kongo def. Evensen via TKO, 4:55 of round 1. Evensen is still on the ground as the result is announced. Kongo says he’s one of the best fighters in the world, and he wants the “tittle.” Joe asks Kongo to take him through the replay, and Kongo walks off. “Or not,” Joe says.
Brock Lesnar vs. Heath Herring
Lesnar is repping Jack Links jerky to the FULLEST. He intentionally slaps then unintentionally punches one of his cornermen while entering the cage. Guess who’s not getting good advice between rounds? Oh well. Minnesota loves them some Brock Lesnar. And Miragliotta pokes Herring in the eye during the faceoff. Moron.
Round 1: Lesnar whiffs a flying kick. Then punches Herring so hard he flips over completely! Herring rolls to his feet and Lesnar tries to crush out a guillotine choke, but Herring is hanging in. Herring appears to be bleeding. He escapes, but Brock gets the takedown, obviously. Herring kicks him off, but Lesnar jumps on and throws punches while on Herring’s back. Herring tries to move, but Lesnar is tenacious with the back control, throwing some scary punches into Herring’s head. Herring is complaining about something (shots to the back of the head?). Big knee to Herring’s body. Lesnar aint giving up that back, as desperately as Herring’s trying to escape. More ground and pound from Lesnar, who nods his head to the crowd’s chanting. The horn sounds. Easy 10-9 round for Lesnar. They replay that big punch in the beginning and it is murder. Herring’s left eye is pretty bad-looking.
Round 2: Lesnar shoots but is stuffed. Lesnar lands a leg kick! How bout that! Lesnar bulls Herring to the ground with ease, taking his back again. Lesnar gets side control on top of Herring. Herring rolls and Lesnar’s on his back again. Lesnar gets mount, but Herring rolls again. Lesnar throws those 4XL gloves into Herring’s ear. Knees to the body from Lesnar. Herring’s left eye is completely swollen shut. Back to side control. Herring is doing his best to be a moving target, then manages to get to his feet. Lesnar nails Herring with two knees to the body. Herring throws some knees of his own now. Lesnar puts Herring back on the mat as the round ends. 10-9 for Lesnar again.
Round 3: Lesnar smiling at Herring across the cage. Nice leg kick from Lesnar. Herring pushes Lesnar against the cage. Lesnar reverses it, and throws some knees, then takes Herring down again. Lesnar is on Herring’s back, throwing knees dead into his spine. Herring briefly threatens a kimura, then Brock gets the mount. Herring bounces out and Lesnar’s on his back again. Disgustingly painful-looking knee to the body from lesnar. Lesnar goes for the rear-naked choke but Herring slips out, gets up, and starts to fire punches on his feet. Brock wants no part of it and easily takes Herring down. Lesnar with more back control. Herring rolls and Brock gets into his guard. Lesnar scores the mount. He celebrates a few seconds early and gets punched. Brock seems to point and laugh at Herring as the horn sounds. Lesnar’s a happy man. He does a little rodeo lasso routine as Herring slinks back to his corner. BROCK LESNAR IS THE TRUTH. All three judges score it 30-26 for Lesnar. “Can you see me now?!” Lesnar says to the crowd. Then says something about falling off the horse against Frank Mir, but getting back on the stallion and riding it somewhere, then says “woo!” Quite a showman.
Georges St. Pierre vs. Jon Fitch
Get in your final predictions now. Fitch looks intense as hell, by the way. GSP does that water-spit thing he does, then pours some out, possibly for his dead homies.
Round 1: GSP gets a takedown right off the bell. Fitch controlling GSP’s body and hands. GSP sneaks in a punch, then an elbow. GSP thrown down two more from the top. Fitch tries to get to his feet, but GSP puts him back down. Fitch gets up and takes a punch, then a right hand that drops him! GSP slugging hard from the top. Fitch taking huge punches and elbows; he’s cut under his left eye. GSP dropping more right hands. Fitch gets his feet and is wobbled by more punches. GSP takes him down and continues the abuse. Deadly elbows from GSP, who moves to side control, then the mount. GSP becomes the first fighter to pass Fitch’s guard. And the horn sounds. Total domination from GSP.
Round 2: Fitch lands a left. GSP pops him with the jab. Superman punch and leg kick from GSP. Another leg kick, and some great jabs from GSP, then a head kick. A couple more leg kicks from the champ. Fitch digs a punch into GSP’s body. GSP misses a spinning back kick. Both guys exchange punches, with Fitch getting the worst of it. And another exchange. Fitch lands a right, then a left. GSP sticking and moving, then shoots, but is stuffed by Fitch. Fitch with a slick punch combo. GSP gets a right hand to Fitch’s ear. The horn sounds. A closer round, but still clearly in GSP’s favor.
Round 3: After trading punches, GSP lands a huge right hand that knocks Fitch on his ass! GSP takes Fitch’s back and sinks the hooks in. Fitch is bleeding heavily from the eye. Fitch escapes the choke attempt and rolls on top of GSP. Fitch laying some shots into GSP’s body from the top. Fitch moving GSP towards the fence. Fitch tries to posture up and GSP slips out, and rolls on top of Fitch. Fitch is pressed against the cage. GSP lets Fitch up and they’re back standing. Good jabs from GSP, then a leg kick. GSP fires a head kick then a leg kick, then pushes Fitch against the cage. Fitch lands a punch from the clinch, then GSP punches back. GSP lands a combo with a vicious knee that drops Fitch again. GSP pouring it on as Fitch gets to his feet, then slams Fitch to the mat as the round ends. Another 10-9 round for GSP.
Round 4: Fitch missing some punches. GSP is cut, but not as bad as Fitch. Fitch with a body kick. GSP with a hard right hook, and Fitch responds with another body kick. Fitch shoots in weakly and is easily stuffed by GSP. Fitch lands a jab. Fitch does his damndest to take GSP down, but the champ manages to stay upright. Fitch tenacious on the single leg and drops to his knees. He lets go, and GSP immediately pounces on top of him. Fitch avoiding serious damage from the top, and GSP goes for a last-second leglock as the round ends.
Round 5: GSP pops Fitch with a left, then lands two leg kicks. And a jab. And then a sick reverse backfist! GSP takes Fitch down near the cage, throwing down some hard punches. GSP lands an elbow from the top, and more punches. Fitch gets up and is popped by a jab. GSP goes for another takedown and gets it. One minute left. Fitch tries to wriggle out but GSP aint having it. Fitch gets up and GSP puts him right back down. And the horn. Both guys kneel and bow to each other in the center of the Octagon. GSP IS ALSO THE TRUTH. St. Pierre makes his first career title defense, winning the unanimous decision; the judges score it 50-43, 50-44, 50-44.
GSP told Fitch that the loss was the best thing to happen to him; it’ll make him stronger. BJ Penn wanders into the cage and says “let’s do this!” GSP says he’s a proud champion and will fight anybody who deserves it. And the broadcast runs out of time as GSP tries to give more shoutouts. But that’s the end. Great freaking card.
(That’s not the face of a man you want to bet against, is it?)
You can learn a lot about life by gambling on sporting events over the internet. Mostly what you learn is that oddsmakers and bookies are smarter than you 90% of the time. The key is knowing that you know less than the oddsmakers and bookies and working around it (I think Socrates said that). Another thing you can learn is that some people actually bet on preseason football. Seriously. You might as well bury your life savings in the backyard and hope it grows into a money tree. At least that way you know where it is.
Fortunately for the off-shore gambling economy, UFC 87 is a stacked and somewhat unpredictable card, so the temptation to try and win some cash is almost irresistible. Our odds today come from Betus.com, and as always you should read Damon Durante’s MMA Betting for ‘Tards if you still don’t know how odds work.
Georges St. Pierre (-350) vs. Jon Fitch (+250)
It’s not exactly shocking to see GSP as the favorite, but the way people have been jumping on the Fitch bandwagon of late, claiming that he presents all kinds of new problems for the champ, I’m surprised the line isn’t a little closer. But there’s a reason it’s not. GSP is an incredible athlete who seems to be at the height of his powers, both mentally and physically. Fitch’s greatest strength is his wrestling, and you aren’t going to outwrestle GSP. Ask Josh Koscheck and Matt Hughes. You certainly aren’t going to finish him that way, and five rounds worth of trying for takedowns is going to leave you vulnerable to catching knee-in-the-face disease, which is known to be fatal to your title hopes.
A guy with Fitch’s natural ability always has a shot, but not one I’d want to bet on. If you do though, that’s cool. Maybe poverty will be good for you.
Brock Lesnar (-260) vs. Heath Herring (+200)
With as little as we know about Lesnar’s abilities as an MMA fighter and as inconsistent as Herring has been, this one should really be closer to a pick’em. The line has probably moved in favor of Lesnar at least in part because fans know him better and are more willing to throw down a bet on a familiar name. As we’ve seen before, that is not a reliable strategy.
This is so unpredictable you should tread very carefully, but Herring is certainly worth some small action at 2-1 odds. He’s the veteran in this situation and he is, according to Dana White, newly dedicated to his career as a fighter. That’s enough for me, but I’m a reckless son of a bitch.
Kenny Florian (-145) vs. Roger Huerta (+115)
Florian is my pick to win, but this one ought to be a close. The chances of it going to decision are, in a word, good. And when that happens who knows what the judges will say, especially if one of them is Sensei Cecil Peoples. What I’m saying here is that Florian should get the slight edge, which is what you see reflected in the odds.
It’s still worth it to me, though, because Florian’s head is in the right place and he has the kind of skills to finish the fight, whereas Huerta’s chances of doing the same aren’t nearly so strong. I wouldn’t pawn your wedding ring to make the bet or anything, but the blender? Yeah, pawn that sucker. You gave up on those protein shakes months ago.
Manny Gamburyan (-340) vs. Rob Emerson (+240)
What the hell. Does someone want to explain to me why, on such a loaded pay-per-view, Manny Gamburyan and Rob Emerson is a televised bout? This is an Ultimate Fight Night bout if ever there was one. Was there some kind of scheduling error? Did they decide to fill this spot by throwing darts at their roster of lightweights? Anyway, if you want a lock that you will most definitely not profit from, take Gamburyan over Emerson. You’re welcome.
Demian Maia (-300) vs. Jason MacDonald (+220)
Maia should win this. He really, really should. But something about “The Athlete”. He’s been winning fights he wasn’t supposed to (some of them, anyway) since he came into the UFC. I don’t think this will be one of them, but then I didn’t think he’d beat Ed Herman, either, so there you go.
You know something? I say you go for it. I say you bet the house on MacDonald. You need something like that to get you out of this rut. What do you need a house for, anyway? Remember Kane from “Kung Fu”? He didn’t have a house and he seemed happy. Come on. Do it. You pussy.
Clear your schedules for August 9th, people. Like UFC 84, the three headlining bouts at “Seek and Destroy” are worth the cost of admission and the rest is just gravy. So, GSP/Fitch, Lesnar/Herring, and Florian/Huerta…who ya got?
Sort of related:The UFC has confirmed what most of us already knew — Michael Bisping and Chris Leben will meet at UFC 89, which will be held at the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham, England, on October 9th.
ST-PIERRE vs. FITCH @ UFC 87: SEEK AND DESTROY
AUGUST 9
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